Some days being a grown up is way too complicated. Don’t misunderstand; I have never yearned to reclaim my youth. The truth of the matter is that when I was young I unfortunately refused to take good advice or learn by the mistakes of others, so an offer to go back in time and suffer from stupidity AGAIN does not turn me on.

But honest to goodness, there are days when it would be so great to be a kid again. When you are a grown-up, it is kind of expected that you are a bit invincible. You are supposed to be able to field any comment from another person with grace and without getting your feelings hurt. It is assumed that a grown-up will be logical and calm and have their wits about them at all times. Overwhelming disappointment is brushed off or backburner-ed immediately before any tears have a chance to well up. That’s the grown-up way, yes indeed-y.

I don’t want to be a child again. There are way more minuses than pluses on this one. I don’t want a bedtime, or school uniform, or math homework. I wouldn’t ever want to relive the worry and fear of being the last one chosen when teams were being formed. One of the best things about being an adult is that you don’t have to fret about being asked to the prom or getting a D or any of that stuff that seems so earth-shatteringly important when you are growing up.

I don’t want to go back to “more innocent times”, but damn…I wish I could visit once in a while. Why can’t there be “Regression LITE” for those times when being all grown up is just not satisfactory?

It would come in so handy when you whacked your head on the kitchen cabinet hard enough to see stars or stubbed your toe on the bed frame fighting with the duvet cover. Jumping up and down in pain would be so much better if it were OK to cry no matter how old you are.

If you could be a kid once in a while you wouldn’t have to be brave all the time. Grown-ups cover up emotions like about being scared to death of spiders. I hate crawly things, but if a 2 lb spider showed up and other people were around, I would turn into freaking Indiana Jones so they wouldn’t be afraid. By the way, I am very good at being a grown up, if I didn’t mention it before.

It would be so good for ones mental health if you could be childish every so often and you wouldn’t lose points in the mature world. Think about being at work at a big meeting. If things weren’t going your way, instead of endless debating or agonizing over spread sheets to make your point, what if you could just get up and kick the other guy in the shins and say “I hate you!” and it wouldn’t count against you?

And what if you don’t get to do something that you have planned and dreamed about? How liberating it would be to indulge in what I think must be the Holy Grail of going back to your childhood…throwing a tantrum. If someone or something broke your heart, wouldn’t it help to pound on the floor with your hands and feet and scream your lungs out? I will confess I did just that the other day. It felt marvelous and I would highly recommend it to anyone. I would suggest that you don’t do it at Home Depot like I did. It was really no big deal after all, because just like usual, no one came to help me.

I feel so much better now that I have talked this over with you, my dear readers. I am going to go now and have a glass of champagne and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I have always found that compromise works best for me.